I woke up to the sound of heavy footsteps on my ceiling and a clanging noise that was jarring.

“Am I having a dream about Santa?l I wondered. The, I remembered my roof was being replaced.

As I went to roll back over, I heard the text tone on my phone. Back to back messages came. I knew who were from. They included questions like how do I stop crying? Why do good people die and bad people live?

I hesitated to respond. A day earlier I had to inform the person writing the messages that their marriage to the deceased wasn’t legal; a fact they weren’t aware of until I said it. So, I didn’t know whether they could take my blunt responses.

I knew ignoring the messages would make him feel more alone. So, I gingerly responded with opinions like: “I guess bad people live to give them more time to live a better life, correct their mistakes so they can meet their loved ones in heaven.”

As for his question about how to stop crying, I gave my honest opinion from my experience. “Let it out. Then, cling to those people who are important to you to make sure life is bearable. I know my relatives want me to go on. So I refuse to submit to to sorrow. Do what works for you.”

I realized I ended my messages this way because I believe what Steve Jobs once said, “don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice.” What I shared with him is what my gut told me as I suffered loss after loss. Perhaps his gut will tell him something different. But, I tried to help and will always try when someone reaches out to me.

So today, I dragged out a sweater that pokes fun at sharing opinions.

#death #grief #powerofprayer #family

#chronicillness #spoonie #christmascountdown #uglychristmassweater #opinions