I woke up expecting to get a message from my aunt Lola wishing me a happy birthday even though today is hers and mine is tomorrow. But, sadly, it will not come. I won’t get to sarcastically respond, “Hey old lady, how many times do I have to tell you it’s not my birthday?” She’d respond, “Mind now. You keep talking to me like that and I will come there and pull your lip over your head.” I’d laugh and say, “yeah, yeah. I’d like to see that.” And, she’d say, “if I were there I’d pluck you right in your forehead.”

I miss our banter which would eventually wind down and drift in to real talk. I’d ask how she was doing. She’d always say, “I’m hurting all over but I woke up today. Thank God.” Then, she’d ask me how I was feeling. I’d hear concern in her voice as she waited for me to answer, especially after she learned about my autoimmune disease.

Our conversations didn’t change when she was in nursing home. But, she’d always break my heart by begging me to take her home with me. The last year she was alive we celebrated our birthdays with my mom and she told she wanted to go home. Regretfully, I couldn’t take her with me. Still, I’m grateful for that day and the memories. I’m honored that I got to call her my family.

So for the day 16 of my Christmas countdown, I chose as shirt that should say being related to you is the only gift I need. But, it close enough.

Rip aunt Lola!

#grief #loss #christmassweater #christmascountdown #holidayseason #spoonie #invisibleillness #chronicillness #aunt #family