Healing Doesn’t Always Come Easy

I’m feel like an animal in the zoo. I sit and wait for food, medicine, mints, tissues and other items to be placed at my door. I hear the sound of it arriving and I respond.

When I have to leave my cage, I make sure to have my nose and mouth covered, my hands freshly washed and a I keep a distance from the other human in my house, who is better shape than I am. If I touch anything, I clean it with a Clorox wipe.

The stairs in my townhouse limit me from going out more than once a day. Between the body aches, joint pain and exhaustion due to Covid and my pre-existing autoimmune disease, I can’t get far.

I often lay on my bed with my sleep mask and surgical mask on hoping to just pass out. I can’t sleep because the post nasal drip chokes me or the coughing wakes me or the rising fever every four hours without Tylenol gets to me. So, I start my ritual by using the Netti pot with saline rinse to open the nostrils, two Tylenol, Vicks vapor rub on my nose and chest, a hit of my nasal spray with steroids, and a benzonatate capsule for the cough. In between I have to swallow the pills to manage my chronic illness and its side effects.

Then, I try to eat. I say try because eating causes coughing and scratching along my raw throat so only soft foods work. But, even those are occasionally expelled. The wrenching from vomiting causes more body aches. It’s a vicious cycle.

At least I can say the chills are gone. The fever is lower, usually 101 now instead of 102 or 103. The headaches are less. So perhaps, on day 4…. I will see some more relief. I know healing doesn’t always come easy but this is tough.

#pandemic #comorbidities #infection

#covid #coronavirus #chronicillness #chronicpain #spoonie #autoimmunedisease #disability


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