Two hours and 27 minutes standing on the registration/title line at the Newark division of the @njmvc on Saturday was more than my body could take. There were no chairs, no numbers so I could leave the line, no place to lean and no one who cared.

I shifted repeatedly, bearing down on my cane, to take some pressure off my comprised spine. But, nothing helped. My legs went numb, tingled then sent a burning sensation into my calves and feet. My hip ached then throbbed. My lower back spasms and sent stabbing pains up my back to the base of my neck, triggering a debilitating headache. I was a mess.

When I reached the counter and teared up, I explained to the employee how the line was cruel and unusual punishment for someone with a disability.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am. Let’s get you out of here quickly.”

Ten minutes later, as she was handing me back my change she said, “I hope you feel better. I really do. Maybe the message on your bill will lift your spirits.”

It said, “God is great. He is with you.”

A day later, I’ve cried out to God many times as I’ve struggled to rest and care for myself. And, I’ve been able to feed me, get up and down the stairs. I’ve learned my house may be empty but I’m not alone.

#faithheals #invisibleillness #chronicillness #chronicpain #blogger #writinglife #disability #autoimmunedisease #spoonie #igg4 #health #disability