“What am I supposed to wear?” I shouted as tears streamed down my face.

I stared into my closet unable to find shoes without a heel that I could wear with one of my favorite dresses.

“I’ve been trapped in flats for years,”I yelled. “All of my heels cause terrible back pain and spasms. To top it off, my abdomen is inexplicably swollen. I have no idea what it will be like tomorrow.”

I tried on a half dozen dresses and I decided not to wear any of them. I climbed into bed unsure about what I’d put on in the morning.

“I just want to look nice when I see my friend,” I mumbled as I put my head on my pillow. “I haven’t see her in person in years. I missed her wedding because of this damn autoimmune disease. I won’t miss her daughter’s christening too. She flew to the U.S. from Australia. I can pick an outfit and make it to Long Island.”

The next morning, I showered and stepped into my yellow and gray dress. The matching four inch heels stayed in the box. Instead, I chose more sensible wedges. I raises my cane to the final hole and leaned on it as I headed out.

An hour and a half later, I was standing with my friend. We talked against a wall away from the tables of filled with people enjoying the Italian food at the reception.

“You look beautiful but you should’ve worn flat,” she said. “It’s more important that take care of yourself and are comfortable than anything else.”

“You look great too,” I replied as I noticed she was smiling but appeared to be in her pain. “You look like you’re fading. Eat and take your meds. We’re all here because we love you. But, we understand you need rest.”

We embraced each other and revealed the truth of our struggles with chronic illness. Then, we rejoiced that neither oceans or sickness could keep dampen our faith or friendship.

#friendship #christening #igg4 #spoonies #autoimmunedisease #invisibleillness #chronicillness #chronicpain #disability #2018 #joythroughthepain #blogger #writinglife #sicklecellanemia