What do you do when you lose the love of your life? I’d never thought about that questions until I watched my father try to cope with the loss of my mother, his partner for nearly 50 years.

I’ve watched him fight through loneliness, struggle to keep himself busy, and try to figure out his future alone. What I l’ve noticed and appreciated most is his vulnerability and candor when talking about his emotions.

When father had a heart attack recently , I thought, it was his body’s way of dealing with his grief. And, I believe that’s true because even in the moments that he came close to death, my father thought about my mother. I also know it was those thoughts that gave him the will to keep going. You see he’s fighting to live not just for himself but for her, to spend time with the grandson and great grandson who will never know her. He’s striving to see all the places and finish all the things they both wanted to see and do. He’s also doing it because he still loves his life despite his pain.

I used to think my parents showed me everything I needed to know, good and bad, about love when they were together. I’ve learned even more through their separation due to death. More importantly, I’ve learned that being a loving partner means your connection doesn’t end when they leave this earth. And, your desire to honor them by living a life that would make both of you proud grows stronger.

Each passing year, I learn more about my father. I like him more. I’ll love him always.

Happy birthday dad!

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