Yesterday, I felt like I’d been struck by a blow from a young Mike Tyson. My head and body ached, making me want to curl up into a ball.
Everyone I love may leave before I’m ready for them to go, I thought. This thought kept me up half the night and woke me early this morning.
Instead of taking the morning dose of the pills that keep my autoimmune disease quiet, I sat on the edge of the bed and considered shouting towards heaven, “can I have more time with my loved ones who are left, please?” But, I didn’t.
I mumbled my morning prayers as the water in the shower ran over me. Instantly, I thought of something the pastor said at the my aunt’s service. “Believing in Him gives you hope and hope is what gets you out of bed.”
I’m hopeful today won’t be worse than yesterday, I thought.
I lugged two bags trash and two empty boxes to the bottom of my stairs outside. I had too much in my hands to hold my wallet, phone and keys. So, I sat those items on the edge of the brick planter in front of my house.
Within minutes, I heard a vaguely familiar voice say, “who left this?”
“Miss Carol, I’m right here. I just couldn’t carry it,” I said as I walked towards her.
Miss Carol, a 60-something year old woman with a cane, was one of the first neighbors I met when I bought my townhouse. A few years ago, she suffered a stroke and had to learn to walk and talk again. She lives alone and doesn’t drive.
“Okay, well I was looking out for you,” Miss Carol shouted.
“Thank you,” I exclaimed. “You okay? Is there anything you need?”
“No, I’m okay. I’m just stuck in the house like all old people. I was out getting the mail, “ she replied.
“I’m going out now, you sure you don’t need anything?”
“Just some yogurt.”
“I’ll be back in 15 minutes, knocking on your door,” I said as I headed to my car.
As promised, I returned with nine yogurts to hold Miss Carol over until next week.
“How much do I owe you?”
“Nothing,” I replied. “Just stay healthy so that you’re around for a long time.”
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