Changes Happen In Minutes

“They say God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. Well, I wish he didn’t trust me so much.” When Ken Taylor said this during ID Discovery’s show, “Shattered: Seven And A Half Minutes,” it stuck with me. For weeks, I have felt exactly the same way.

I was getting ready to attend a burial when my phone rang sat 8:30 in the morning. My father delivered another devastating blow. He told me about my mother’s disturbing medical crisis.

She survived a second cancer surgery and nearly daily chemo and radiation for months. But, in recent weeks, she was dogged by a mysterious breathing problem. Other than making her a little tired, she thought she was fine. She wasn’t. When my father took her to the hospital, doctors discovered this issue was caused by internal bleeding. She’d ost as much as 40 percent of her total blood volume.

As I walked into my mother’s hospital room, I thought about something Robert Kimbrew said in the same TV episode. It was about how your life can change in just seven and a half minutes. He was referring to the time it took for a serial killer to smother his child. But, his words are true about so many instances in life where in minutes you can go from joy to sadness, from well to sick, from wealthy to poor, from having a loved one to losing one or worrying if one will make through the last challenge.

I was worried but I tried not to show it. We watched football, sang along with doo wop songs on the TV and talked. If she wasn’t connected to a machine, I wouldn’t have known anything was wrong. In fact, I smiled when I saw a sign on the wall that said her personal goal is to go home.

When I left a few hours later, I was concerned about whether doctors will find the source of the bleeding. This thought haunted me so in the middle of the night I talked to God. I said, “please don’t let my mom leave the hospital until she is fixed and whole. I can’t take losing her right now. I know you made me as strong as a tank but even those can break down. And, I’m in need of repair before I’m tested again.”

#Cancer #cancersucks #mothersanddaughters #amotherslove #family #grief #invisibleillness #chronicillness #chronicpain #disability #autoimmunedisease #spoonie

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