I am stronger than I know in my weakest moments

19 consistent days of chronic pain has been maddening. The flares that crop up while carrying out every day tasks are as irritating as a sibling sticking a finger just close enough to your face to annoy you but not enough that it justifies you taking any drastic action like pummeling them. But, it’s the burning sensation in my leg that wakes me from a dead sleep that’s been the most exasperating. It’s as if the left side of my body is being licked by the flames from the eternal fires burning in hell.

The battle to quiet my pain so I can accomplish everything I want to do has prompted me to seek remedies beyond my steroids, regular medications, Tramadol, two types of CBD oil and ice. I’ve added natural compounds like apple cider vinegar, turmeric curcumin, and a Tens machine to my arsenal.

Yesterday, I braved a cold rain to walk two miles. I then drove 45 minutes for lunch with my parents and another hour to Connecticut to spend time with a loved one. Despite increasing discomfort, I stayed up to 11 p.m. to see a movie “Spider-man: into the spider-verse.” Afterwards, I collapsed onto my bed in terrible pain. But, I smiled. I’d willed myself to keep going and to enjoy my day.

Before I shut eyes, I used the item in my arsenal to quiet my body’s distress. As o drifted off I realized that the often steady voice deep within me that tells me that I am stronger than I know, even in my weakest moments; I will overcome no matter what. I will make the best of this life regardless of my chronic illness.

#cbdoil #backpain #spoonies #igg4 #autoimmunedisease #invisibleillness #chronicillness #chronicpain #disability #nerveburning #blogger #writinglife #medtwitter

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