I nearly buckled when a suddenly Charlie horse in my leg hit as I was waiting for a New Jersey Transit train. I’d gotten out of work ten minutes early but there were no trains when I arrived at New York Penn at 6:25. The first train on the board was a 6:52 to Long Branch and it was canceled. So I had to stand and wait for 7:00 p.m. train. My body didn’t like that.

As my ice pack warmed up, my pain and muscle contractions increased. I was getting misty eyed. I was frustrated that my healing isn’t complete, my doctor is on vacation with no replacement, no one has sent me MRI results and after making it through a second day at work, I was probably going to suffer all night.

It’s day one of the new year and I’m already stuck, I thought. I have to move forward in my life.

It was then that I leaned against a NJ Transit map and spotted a “familiar” face. It was Mary, the homeless woman who found my wallet early last year. She was sitting against the wall wearing almost the same outfit she had a year and one day ago. A group of volunteers came by and asked her if she was okay and if she needed anything. She told them no just like she’d told me when i tried to give her a reward.

She does appear to be mentally ill or sad, I thought. So how can she find peace with her status quo and I can’t accept mine? Last year, according to the incidents in my 157 blog posts, I found some solace in the midst of difficult life trials. Perhaps I’ll have to work have to continue to do so this year by looking at how much I have and how far I’ve come rather than the obstacles that are ahead.

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