There are days , like today, when my zest for life fades and I become despondent. This feeling doesn’t occur often and it doesn’t last for long but it happens.

Today, it was the news that my gastrointestinal surgeon will need to perform for a number of procedures and exams (4) in one day to determine why swallowing and eating solid food like toast still causes me immense pain. It was an unwelcome weight on top of my already heavy and hard to balance medical load.

I wondered if this would lead to even more surgeries. If I’d be able to enjoy the holidays, especially Thanksgiving dinner. If I’d have to miss a lot of time from work. I considered how this could hurt my bank account. I also thought about whether I’d have to postpone my previously scheduled back procedures, risking my ability to walk pain free.

I was able to soothe myself by acknowledging the small kindnesses that made my day bearable.

A co-worker/friend got out of his vehicle in front of the Essex Count courthouse on one of the coldest days in October to say hello to me.

A man on the NJ Transit bus grabbed me so I wouldn’t fall when the bus abruptly stopped while I was trying to find a seat (the handicapped section was full with able-bodied people)

A conductor extended his hand to help me avoid falling in the gap between the platform and NJ Transit train at NY Penn Station

A co-worker/friend showed me an image of her baby in the womb. She did this one day after she placed my hand on her pregnant belly so I can feel her baby hiccup.

A coworker/friend thanked me for my effort to complete the top story of the day.

A coworker/friend texted me while o was at the hospital to see if I was okay then she offered to assist with my assignments.

A coworker/friend told me he saved me some of his homemade soup because I missed lunch.

My partner walked over to my desk to see how my appointment went, along with another coworker/friend.

A coworker/ friend left dozens of candy bars in my candy bucket.

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