Here’s what I know about suicide. I know that everyday isn’t a day you want to die but sometimes thinking about moving on to a better place is all consuming. I know that sometimes you’re lonely in a room full of people who don’t know your pain but they don’t because you hide it or can’t understand it. I know that sometimes you can’t sleep because thoughts, worries and concerns are overwhelming while other times all you want to do is shut your eyes until another day comes. And, I know that often when you stop crying or complaining it’s because you think you’ve found a solution to your woes. Sometimes that is to keep fighting and other times it is to take control of your own mortality. Ive chosen to stick around because I also know it leaves those who love you with doubt, disappointment, sorrow and unanswered questions.
Rest In Peace Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade and countless others
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Amen. It was four years ago this week I tried. Twice. And on Wednesday I came the closest I have been in four years to wanting to not exist. I’m on the rebound, but this is hard today, I join you in surviving, one hour at a time. Love you, Nika. XOXO