Day 98: Disappointments Don’t Determine Your Future

The pain in my forehead and scalp from a devastating blow are gone. My headaches have decreased. Yet, I’m still struggling with nausea, dizziness and blurry vision from a concussion.

Watching tv, typing on my computer or taking a walk in the sunshine are difficult for me. So I spend a lot time staring at the ceiling, hiding behind my sunglasses or a sleep mask or taking naps.

The damage to my brain has spawned growing discontent in my heart. I’m frustrated, lonely and afraid. I’m frightened that I might not be whole again; that my abilities to do simple things will be forever changed by an accident.

Still, I’m following doctors orders. I take more than 13 pills a day, exercise indoors, rest, and sit in the dark. And, I wait to be cleared to return to work. The date for me to go back changed again today. But, I pray that soon it will be set in stone. I hope that my current disappointment won’t determine my future.

#igg4 #spoonies #autoimmunedisease #invisibleillness #chronicillness #chronicpain #disability #igg4 #2018 #joythroughthepain #concussion #nyu #headache

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