I’m dragging this morning, I thought as I approached the stairs at NY Penn Station.

<p>

“Are the stairs quicker?” asked the NJ train conductor.

<p>

“They are and they’re good exercise,” I replied.

<p>

“I guess if you don’t exercise you get stiffer, huh?”

<p>

“Absolutely,” I said. “The stairs pull on my leg and back. It hurts to move but I fought to walk so I do.”

<p>

“Yeah, I noticed some days you are worse than other.”

<P>

“I am,” I replied. “I can feel the weather is changing today. My joint are starting to ache.”

<P>

It reminded me of a conversation with a new co-worker the day before when I explained how igg4-rd has effected me since I was 20.

<P>

I worked most of the day before the slight changes in the atmosphere got to me. My headache started at 2 pm and progressed as the afternoon and evening went on.

<P>

It feels like I’ve been hit in the back of the head with a brick, I thought as I climbed into bed at 7:30 pm. There is so my much pressure behind my eyeballs it seems like they could pop out any moment. Even my hair hurts. And, my knees and lower spine are throbbing.

<P>

I allowed an hour to pass with a pillow wrapped around my head before I took pain medication. I passed on eating dinner. I was too nauseous and uncomfortable to even try to consume anything.

<P>

I don’t know when but the medicine finally kicked in and I feel asleep. At 2 am, a stabbing sensation in my temples woke me. I sat there for about an hour before I drugged my pain back into submission.

<P>

God, I know that when I get to you my soul will be free of pain but right now I have to live in this body, I thought. Can you help me out?

<P>

I woke up this morning and my pain was dulled. I took another pain pill and headed off to work.

<P>

I saw my usual train conductor and he said, “you look better today.”

<P>

“It was a rough night but I’m getting there. My body can’t handle the weather changes anymore.”

<P>

“Sounds like someone I know with arthritis.”

<P>

“Guess it affects everyone with autoimmune conditions.”

<P>

Read Days 1-46: https://nikabeamon.com

#spoonies #autoimmunedisease #invisibleillness #chronicillness #chronicpain #disability #2018 #joythroughthepain #headaches #migraines #jointaches