I couldn’t sleep last night. I stood for nearly two hours during an intense conversation; that was all it took to anger my back. A sharp pain shot across my lower back, down my leg and into my foot.

I can’t walk too far, stand or sit too long, or reach too high. Every little thing seems to irritate my spine, I thought. It’s can’t believe my insurance company is making me repeat diagnostic tests before they’ll let me have more procedures to suppress the pain without drugs.

I took a step towards the stairs leading to my bedroom and I was shocked by another pain running up the left side of my neck. This caused my shoulder and the. base of my skull to hurt. I dragged myself to bed and waited for my pain medication to relieve me.

I kept trying to relax but I couldn’t. I took deep breathes and exhaled, prayed and tried positive affirmations. But, the alternating pains made it hard to breathe or move. But, I could think. So, I summoned a happy moment. I thought about a text a friend sent to me on Saturday about his daughter.

“I have a young author artist!”

My friend’s daughter had written a book with illustrations about a sleepover.

“I thought out of all people you’d appreciate it.,” he continued. “I love how she has post it’s with Q and A.”

I was about her age, 7 or 8, when I decided I wanted to be a writer, I thought. I don’t need my legs to do tell stories. I’ve published four books, finished a fifth and am working on a sixth. And, this year, I’m trying to complete 313 blog posts. My legs can’t stop me from finishing this.

I played the video my friend sent me showing him flipping the pages of his daughter’s book. I don’t even know when I drifted off but I finally did. Somehow, the memory of my friend’s daughter’s story comforted me and quieted my mind when nothing else would.

Read days 1-23 here:
https://nikabeamon.com

#spoonie #autoimmunedisease #invisibleillness #chronicillness #chronicpain #igg4 #disability #2018 #joythroughthepain #friendship #backpain #writer #authors