I walked as fast as my frail spine would let my legs move. I made it to the bus stop in record time, under four minutes. I was too late to catch the 9:56 bus though. I was behind schedule from the moment I woke up. I had a meltdown because my “friend” came while I slept and that ate up a lot of time.

Please God, don’t let this be a sign of how 2018 will be go, I thought, as I began walking down the hill to the next bus stop to keep myself warm in 7 degree weather. I can’t come close to my goals, no matter how small, and miss them again.

I didn’t catch the next bus either so I started walking again. 1800 steps later, I arrived at bus stop number 3. And, 5 minutes later I climbed aboard the 25 bus bound for Newark Penn Station.

Does anyone have change for a five? A woman asked as she fumbled through her purse.

The other people on the bus didn’t answer her.

“I don’t have any dollar bills but I can give you the change you need for bus fare,” I responded.

“Thank you. Thank you,” she said. “I didn’t get my Metrocard yet and I can’t walk anymore in the cold.”

“No problem,” I replied as I smiled.

Maybe I was supposed to be on this bus to help this lady, I thought. God made sure I was right on time for her. Perhaps all I need is patience and persistence and to be prepared to attain my goals.

#Newark #patience #spoonie #autoimmunedisease #invisibleillness #chronicillness #chronicpain #disability