“What do I want to do now?” I asked myself as I clutched my doctors letter saying I’m presently not showing any acute or severe symptoms. I’m not cured of my autoimmune disease, igg4-rd, but the lack of new organ or lymph node inflammation or new aches or pains means I am in good health for me.

I don’t know what to do; that’s all I kept thinking as the days passed. Then, an old college friend reached out to me and suggested I make a to do list for the next three weeks, three months and three years.

It took me nearly a week to finish my first to do list.

1. Start to repair the damage done by my conditions: get knee and hip injections, finish radiofrequency and nerve blocks for lumbar and cervical regions of the spine. (Give myself the ability to walk without pain or numbness.)
2. Apply for Princeton journalism fellowship (see of teaching is my next career move)
3. Go on vacation with my mini family (take my “stepson” to Kalahari for his bday and have great quality time with my fiancé)
4. Finish editing my new memoir about coping with chronic illness (share what I’ve learned about how faith, gratitude, testimony, music, prayer, love and mantras can heal the soul and make illness livable)
5. Address adverse work conditions (try to work out arrangement at work to reduce my stress and anxiety to reduce my risk of relapse and improve my mental health)

I took action on my list right away. I drafted an email to my boss, booked a mini getaway, hired an independent editor for my book, and scheduled my procedures at the Hospital For Special Surgery.

As I left for the first procedure, I stared in the bathroom mirror at work and repeated, “No Nonsense, No Excuses. No nonsense will deter me from making it through my list or anything else. There are no excuses for not exhibiting the strength and potential others see in me.”

#spoonie #disability #invisibleillness #autoimmunedisease #igg4 #chronicillness #chronicpain #noexcuses #nononsense