I’d really like to have a day off that’s really a break. Today wasn’t one of them but I tried to make the best of it. I smiled and joked with the nurses as I waited to go into the operating room for an incisional biopsy.

I laid on a gurney with a towel covering my head and collar bone as the doctor prepared to root around in my neck for the problematic lymph nodes. Two separate ultrasounds were done before the exact area was pinpointed.

First, there was a pinch and then I felt the sting of the lidocaine circulating under my skin. I could feel the burn, another pinch and then the pressure of a large needle going in. Second later, there was movement under my skin. And, then, I heard a click. It was the sound of one sample being taken. Over then next 30 minutes there were others.

A large bandage was placed on my neck before I was sent on my way. I drove home trying not to wonder, “what now? What will the results yield?” The uncertainty clouded the ride home. But, once I arrived there, I vowed to sit and watch mindless TV, thinking about nothing significant. I reminded myself that focusing on what tomorrow might bring rather than what happened today is the best way to stop dwelling on misfortune.

#biopsy #lymphoma #chronicpain #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #spoonie #invisibleillness #WomensHealth