My family is getting smaller by the day. It’s shrunk exponentially since 2019. Now, there is another loss.
When my mother died, I shut down. The incomprehensible loss was too much for me to talk about. But, my first cousin Nettie Mae, who I called aunt Nettie would call to check on. Sometimes her mind would “slip” and she’d think she was talking to my mother. I never corrected her. On occasion, she’d then call my number again and talk to me as if we hadn’t spoken. She told me how she missed talking and praying with my mother. She’d also say she’d loss so much: her husband and mother within a short period of time that it was taking a toll on her health, causing chronic pain and trouble sleeping.
Nettie was named after my beloved grandmother. She was my cherished aunt Rubelle (Lola’s) daughter and my first cousin Eric’s sister. But, she was also my cheerleader. When she could, she read my blogs and listened to my radio show appearances about my books or about my health struggles.
I went over some of her messages early this morning and found this one, which was in response to my lamenting that I was at the end of my rope dealing with a chronic illness. It read in part, “you brought tears to my eyes. Yes, God hears you and feels for you, remembering his son suffered on the cross.” I find it ironic that she passed right after Easter weekend. I’d like to think God heard her suffering and offered her peace.
Rest in paradise!
#grief #loss #faith #Easter #blacklove #family #chronicpain #chronicillness #death