Change The Plan, Not The Goal

It is said that, “If the plan doesn’t work change the plan, not the goal.”

9 years ago I planned a wedding for the very first time. Then, my doctor suspicious lymph nodes in my neck. I went to see Dr. Maurice Khosh and he did a surgical lymph node biopsy and lymph removals due to suspicion of early stage lymphoma. So, wedding plans near Lincoln Center were canceled.

I thought I’d cut out my problem. But, a year later more suspicious lymph nodes appeared. They too were surgically removed. I was given medication to hopefully prevent any more issues. Well, a month after those surgeries I needed a third and final one (at least so far) for a bad lymph node behind my ear. Then, I did a procedure to lessen the scars.

I waited 4 1/2 years before I attempted to plan a wedding again. This time, my friend and my mother accompanied me on venue tours. On one outing, I put down a deposit one place. Then, I went out and bought a dress. My mother attended the fittings, bagged the bird friendly rice, helped pick the jewelry and did other tasks to prepare for the big day. But, there was another change of plans.

Fast to forward to September of this year. I squeezed into one of the back up dresses I picked out with my now late mother, without spanx, and finally got hitched.

Yesterday, I tried on my “main” dress and realized that I’m not as thin as I was when I got it fitted. I blamed aging, the holidays, my medication and anything else I could think of for my dress headache. But I’ve decided I’m going to wear the dress my mother and I had fitted no matter what, even if I need to add a panel to it for my March nuptials. My weight didn’t stop my husband from saying “I do” months ago and it won’t prevent our second wedding day.

So, my Christmas shirt for day 22 is a nod to embracing who I am, extra rolls, curves and all. I thank God I made it this far.

#weightloss #aging #selflove #weddings

#christmascountdown #christmassweater #holidayseason #spoonie #invisibleillness #chronicillness

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