I saw a rainbow last weekend. I’d completely forgotten about it until my life became stormy this week. I wondered where’s my rainbow? Where’s the beautiful cheerful, calm after the bad things I’ve been weathering. I prayed and I ask for mine. Then, amazingly, I began seeing them.
There was the moment when an old friend said, “It took women to get me here though. I knew he was crediting me for helping him in his life. It struck me because there was a time when I couldn’t see the two of us being friends let alone remaining so for this long. He didn’t know it but I was feeling pretty useless at that moment. His words gave me hope that the seeds I might still bloom.
I recognized my second rainbow while visiting my mom in the hospital. She lit up as we walked through the door; this was a turnaround from the day before she said she wanted no visitors and calls. She told my dad and I how she’d had trouble breathing during the night and her roommate’s son heard her struggling. He rushed over and told her he was going to run to the nurses’ station to get help. She says she’d push the call button but he insisted going woulda be quicker. He saved my mother’s life or at least her from suffering more pain; this allowed me to sit, talk and laugh with her again.
When I got home from the hospital, I was exhausted. Still, I did a quick change. I put on my faux leather leggings, fishnet stockings, a wig, hoop earrings, and a fake diamond. Then, I was off to, “Murdered By The Mob,” a murder mystery dinner in the city. As the announcer said my alias, Nika “hot lips” Beamon, I loosened up. I waved my dinner napkin in the air and gestured as he told the crowd how I’d just gotten out of jail after beating a prostitution wrap. As I interacted with the characters, my sadness lifted giving me another bright spot in my day.
I’ve had many rainbows in my life. They may have been small, fleeting, faint or even overlooked by me but they were there, giving me hope. All I ever need to do is stop, look around me and savor the moment.
#SundayThoughts #SearchForYourRainbows #SavorTheMoment #adulting #cancersucks #invisibleillness #chronicillness #chronicpain #agingparents #autoimmunedisease #spoonie