The Empire State Building, the Chrysler building and the MetLife building shimmered in the darkness as I stared out of the window of my mother’s hospital room. It’s this view that many New Yorkers would and do pay tens of thousands of dollars per month to see every night when they come home. Yet, my mom and her roommate, “Dee,” nearly paid for it with their lives.

Five days after my mother was admitted, I was able to touch and talk to her in person, even though I was barely well enough to be out of the house. I helped her get back into leg circulation cuffs. I looked at the line of staples in her belly and I gave her a hand as she sat up on the edge of the bed to talk to me and Dee.

Dee had been in the hospital for two weeks. She told me that she too suffers from a chronic illness, Ulcerative colitis. This time in addition to pain and bleeding, she had multiple blood clots that could’ve killed her.

She really opened up after we began talking about frivolous things like our favorite snacks. We quickly turned to more serious topics like our procedures, hospital stays, medications we’ve taken and the cost of living with a chronic illness. My mother listened and praised our resilience, forgetting she survived kidney cancer decades ago and now made it through a surgery to remove more cancer.

I would’ve stayed for hours but my body began to break down. I ate a mint and drank water out of the sink to try to quiet my coughing. But, soon both of them told me it was probably best that I go home.

As I left, I told my mom I’d see her soon. And, I told Dee I hope she isn’t there when I return. But, I assured her that if she was I’d break out, at least for a short time, so she take on that gorgeous view from the other side of the window.

#NYCSkyline #HospitalsSuck #CancerSucks #Ulcerativecolitis
#spoonie #igg4 #autoimmunedisease #invisibleillness #chronicillness #chronicpain #disability #blogger #writinglife