I wasn’t all that active before my spine and joints began giving me trouble or should I say started failing. I walked places like a typical New Yorker but that’s about it.

I hadn’t gone skiing since the early 2000s when I nearly froze to death on the lift at Killington.

I stopped ice skating regularly about nine years ago after my parents, nephew and brothers ceased meeting at the Rye Playland skating rink before the holidays. I gave it up even though I’d played ice hockey since I was 14.

I stopped dancing when my clubbing days ended. I knew it was time to stop partying hard at Black Diamonds events like Tuesday nights at Nell’s when I went to work at ESPN Classic with my eyes burning and head throbbing from limited sleep the night before. I closed my office door that day and nearly cried when I realized it was only Wednesday.

I hadn’t run long distance since I ran cross country in high school. I used the treadmill at the gym until 2009. The same year I played tag in the park with a little kid and found myself hiding in a piece of equipment to catch my breath. I vowed not to run again unless I was being chased and even then my life must be in danger.

Yet, less than three years ago I missed all of my former activities. The exact moment was when I woke up and couldn’t move my legs. It was then I wanted to skate, ski, run, jump and walk. I’ve been struggling ever since to do so without jaw clenching pain.

I know sometimes you can’t get back what you lost. I’m not certain I really can. However, I’m back at the Hospital for Special Surgery for procedure 2 of 6 before Christmas to do just that.

#backpain #hss igg4 #spoonies #autoimmunedisease #friendship #invisibleillness #chronicillness #chronicpain #disability #2018 #joythroughthepain #blogger #writinglife
#nevergiveup