The sight of chubby little cheeks, toes and tummies always stir up my maternal instinct. I’ve often thought I’d be fine if I never marry but not if I don’t have a baby. Yet, doctors have told me, since my mid-twenties that my PCOS and autoimmune condition, may make it impossible for me to give birth to a child.
I almost proved them wrong once. I was pregnant for almost five months right before my 20th birthday. But, my body let go of the child. The devastation of that day still haunts me. In fact, I frequently think about how old my son or daughter would be now. Every time that thought crossed my mind, I sink into a depression and wonder: why can’t I do something so basic as to have a child? How can I get rid of my yearning for a child so the pain will stop? Thankfully, as the years have gone I worry less about the answers to questions and focus more on desire to be a mother.
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About the author:
Nika C. Beamon is a journalist working in New York. She is the author of the memoir, Misdiagnosed: The Search for Dr. House, about her 17 year journey to find the right medical diagnosis while balancing a relationship and career.
In 2009, Chicago Review Press published her first non-fiction book, I Didn’t Work This Hard Just to Get Married. She is also the author of two mystery novels, Dark Recesses and Eyewitness.
#infertility #autoimmune #women #health #motherhood @ChrissyTeigen @TyraBanks #fablifeshow