Leaving an hour and 10 minutes earlier wasn’t enough to prevent traffic from New Jersey into NYC from making me late. When the gps revealed I’d arrive10 minutes after my surgery check in time, I feared my surgery would be cancelled. Tears leaked out of my eyes and I felt a heaviness in my chest. 

I mumbled, “we might as well turn around.” But, my husband kept driving. I knew that even if by some miracle the surgeon still decided to take me, my husband wouldn’t be my side because he’d be forced to drop me off at the door to the hospital. I’d have to walk in alone.

I breathed a deep sigh of relief when the surgeon agreed to go ahead. But, before I could go in the back, I was instructed I must pay my outstanding balance from my pre-tests done in the last few weeks which cost nearly $2,0000. And, I was warned of the thousands my surgery would cost. What a way to relax a patient! 

I slipped into a gown, surgical underwear, , purple socks and a hair net after I brushed my teeth again and gargled to remove any bacteria from my mouth.

Afterwards, I watched the clock as it got closer to 8 a.m.; that’s when I laid  on a table in a cold operating room as naked as I was the day I came into the world. I will counted down to the number 1  and drift off into that space somewhere between here and there. The surgeon skillful carved out a large nodule the size of a small orange which needs to be biopsied and at least half of the thyroid it’s wound itself around.  He left me with stitches to be removed next week. 

This was the first time I’ve had major surgery without my parents by my side. So there was no small prayer circle around my bed, no one leaving a pig trinket for good luck or stroking my hair and whispering it will be okay. 

My faith allowed me not to worry too much. It also let me trust that I will be granted healing and more time to continue to work on my goals. And, I pray the biopsy is negative for cancer. 

#thyroidectomy #throatnodules #igg4 #invisibleillness #health #chronicillness