A couple of days ago, my cousin texted me to ask for my father’s shrimp toast recipe. I sent her a photo of the recipe. However, I realized the image was so small it would be too difficult for her to read. So, I offered to send her a copy of the book of recipes that I made for my brothers. It contains only a fraction of the dishes my parents used to make during our childhood. Some additional recipes live in my memory. Others have tragically been lost.

I turned around and asked my cousin about the recipe for one of our family staples: bread pudding. Her grandmother, who was my aunt Lola, took over the task of making when it my grandmother couldn’t any longer. She used to bring it my house every year for my birthmas party. I never ate it. In fact, I didn’t like it but I found its presence on my table comforting.  

I miss bread pudding almost as much as I miss my aunt Lola. Without it and her the holidays nor my birthday are the same. There’s a void. Dare I say a sweetness and predictability are missing and that I long to have back.  

I can’t get back what I’ve lost but I can preserve what remains. So, I agreed to share the recipes that I have left with my cousin and family friend.  Sharing this history feeds my soul because I believe, in some small way, I’m keeping our lost relatives alive for another generation. 

Happy heavenly birthday, Aunt Lola! 

#foodie #cooking #familyrecipes #spoonie #uglychristmassweater #christmassweatercountdown #birthdays #RIP #grief