Forget The Superficial

What are you asking Santa for or praying for this year? I chose this shirt for day 15 of my ugly Christmas  sweater countdown after spending the day reflecting on my final hours with my mother.

As she lay, waiting to get transferred to hospice, I asked my mother if there was anything she wanted at this point to make her life complete. She said no. She said she’d done and accomplished nearly everything she wanted in life. I asked if there was anything we could do for her. She said just let me have peace; accept that she wanted an end to all of her treatments so she enjoy whatever time she had left. It said okay even though my heart was breaking.

Even as she stared death in the face, my mother taught me not to ask for what I want. buckle down to accomplish enough of my goals so I have no regrets, and don’t focus on the superficial things. So this year I focused on saving so I can buy a new, forever home. I stepped up my workouts for the benefit of my health. I learned to entertain myself so when I’m alone I’m at peace. And, I made an effort to spend time with the family I have left. Of course, I still wouldn’t mind if Santa did his part to round out my year. How about you?

soldieron #adultingsucks #christmas #uglychristmassweater #countdowntochristmas #chronicillness #chronicpain #autoimmunedisease #invisibleillness #holidayspirit #death #grief #decemberbaby #bucketlist #peace

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