Day 147: Give Yourself Some Freedom

I woke up suddenly at 4:00 a.m. afraid that I was paralyzed on my left side. I was leaning on my bandages and not yelping.


My heart began pounding as I reached to my right in the bed and realized I was in alone. I grabbed my cell phone firmly so I could call someone if I fell or if I couldn’t get up. Then, I prayed before I tried to move.


I was feverish and had a pounding headache, which are the usual side effects I suffer after nerve blocks and steroid injections. But, my back wasn’t throbbing.
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As I stood and walked to the bathroom, there was almost no pain. There was still a twinge above my buttock and across my lower spine but it faded. No ice pick like sensation ran down my leg, my foot didn’t fall asleep and my calf didn’t tense up.


I whispered,”thank you, Lord. I think my doctor has finally located, marked and numbed all the nerves on the left side of my spine that have caused me agonizing and debilitating pain for four long years. I know the anesthesia and steroids will wear off before in a day or so. But, at least now we will have a clear road map to the source of my pain.


I got back in the bed and closed my eyes. I imagined a day, very soon, when I will be able to walk without my pain meds and without fear of going too far, stretching too much, reaching too low or high, sitting or standing too long, lifting anything over ten pounds or wearing heels.


I’ve got three more procedures left. One next Monday (12/10) to pinpoint the troubled nerves on the right side of my spine and two nerve burning procedures on my birthday (12/17) and the day after(12/28). I can’t think of a better gift I can I give myself than being able to walk tall and pain free. Can you?


#backpain #igg4 #spoonies #autoimmunedisease #invisibleillness #chronicillness #chronicpain #disability #2018 #joythroughthepain #blogger #writinglife #birthdaygift #freedom

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